Guilty Pleasures

Mr. On'ry:

Alright, because Mr. Mean is under the weather we’ll keep this simple:  Guilty Pleasures.  Name them and why they are “guilty”.  Mine:

The Cranberries.  It’s really based on the strength of one song – “Linger” – which I think is one of the best pop songs ever written.  But I like the first two albums overall.  I think they are just fun, innocuous pop rock. 

The Eagles.  This one is all about my childhood.  My old man loved, loved, loved The Eagles and I spent many a summer day in the back of a car with the windows rolled down as we travelled across the country (four times) listening to the two greatest hits albums they had out.  Are they completely polished and overproduced?  Absolutely.  Are there bands who did the whole country/rock hybrid better?  Absolutely.  I could give you close to a dozen off the top of my head.  I don’t care.  I like them because if for no other reason it reminds me of one of the few parts of my childhood I wouldn’t mind revisiting. 

Temple Of The Dog – I know this one is going to kill Mr. Mean but I really liked this album.  Take away their one hit (which Eddie Vedder ruins with his awful, awful voice) and this record is just good a good rock record.  The songs “Say Hello To Heaven” and “Call me A Dog” are fantastic and some of their heavier tracks could have found a home on early Soundgarden releases.

I could probably list a dozen more that any self-respecting metalhead should probably never admit to liking but because of the artist’s popularity I don’t think the vast majority of people would consider them “guilty” pleasures.  So I’ll leave it at these three for now.    



Guilty.


 

Mr. Mean:

Wow. I’ll give you the Cranberries, but only that song and “Dreams”. “Zombie”? Are you effing kidding me? That is horrible. Don’t get me started on The Eagles. Henley, Frey, Walsh solo kill it. As a band, absolutely horrid. TOTD, I honestly never gave a chance because I hate Vedder’s voice so much.

So…mine as follows:

Divine. Yes, the transvestite actor who could not sing a note if his life depended on it. The dude had some rad 80s Hi-NRG records via Bobby Orlando production. The results are as campy and ridiculous as you would assume a Divine record would be. Bobby O makes the records work though. He discovered Pet Shop Boys and The Flirts, so the guy is kind of a disco/electronic legend. “Shoot Your Shot” and “So You Think You Are A Man” are club classics.

Abba. The Swedes do metal right, everyone knows that. But they have some great pop bands, too, like The Cardigans and the loveable and perfect pop of Abba. I’ve always liked them, and especially like their later period stuff like “Voulez Vous” and “Gimme Gimmie Gimmie (A Man After Midnight)”. Besides that, my wife adores them and we both completely dig the Aussie film Muriel’s Wedding, which has so much Abba in it that it hurts. Coincidentally, I have never seen Mamma Mia! in person or on tv.

Happy Flowers. I bet you both have never heard of this band. Look them up. It’s pretty much unlistenable noise made by “little kids” who are actually adults screaming like little kids. The subject matter is funny, the titles are hilarious, and the records are simply ridiculous out of tune noise. Their 1989 album Oof is a masterpiece…of crap.

Attila. Another one most people don’t know about. Billy Joel doesn’t want you to know about it…because he was in the band. They released one album in 1970 and it is usually labeled as one of the worst albums in rock history. I kinda dig it though. it is just psychedelic cacophony, the equivalent of a bad trip on the brown and yellow acid while getting punched in the marbles by William Joel. Heaviest music the guy every made.



Guiltier.


 

Mr. Lonesome:

 

Here’s my list – maybe a bit more scattered.

Belinda Carlisle. I own four of her solo efforts. Yes, you read that correctly. FOUR. She has a truly unique vibrato and a sweet tone. She had some good pop song writers (including former Go-Go’s mate Charlotte Caffey). And the songs carry a certain nostalgia for me. Her spread in Playboy didn’t hurt, either.

Foreigner. I think Lou Gramm is an absolute powerhouse vocalist. Yes, the lyrics could probably be improved with fewer cliché and silliness. But then again, those are also Everyman sensibilities (Phil Collins also has his unique niche for writing these sorts of love songs – they aren’t poetic, but they say exactly what one feels when one isnt poetic). Mick Jones is a great rock guitarist, and I think the band is miles above others of their ilk (i.e. Bad Company, REO Speedwagon). Besides, who ever turns the channel when “Waiting for a Girl Like You” comes on? Hopefully no one I know. And they absolutely rocked on the non-ballads.

The Bee Gees. I will tell you this: no band wrote better disco tunes. Barry Gibb, himself, is a great other-genre songwriter as it is (“Islands in the Stream” – that’s for you, Mrs Mean!). I’m not shy to admit that I will listen to the Bee Gees more often than Mrs Lonesome probably knows.

80s Pop. Those that know me understand my insane yet unabashed love for this genre. Whether it be Madonna and Whitney Houston, or Expose and the Cover Girls. Gimme some Duran Duran and Lionel Richie. I don’t care. I love it. Even the fewer-hit wonders like Corey Hart, Real Life, The Outfield, Nu Shooz, Al B. Sure! Heck, I want me some Rob Base and Neneh Cherry and Salt ‘n’ Peppa and Bobby Brown. Billy Ocean? You bet. Erasure? Of Course! Howard Jones and the Thompson Twins? Abso-damn-lutely. And don’t even get me started on Cinderella. 

And one final final point: I bloody love Billy Squier, no matter how awful he “danced” in his videos! Catchy rock riffs, catchy vocal melodies, and superb vox. The dude was awesome, and I listen to him once a week in tribute. 

We need to bring him back somehow to the limelight. Spread the word virally of how awesome he is. Maybe revamp his Wikipedia Page, say he saved a bus of nuns teetering on/off the cliff from the Temple of Doom by singing to them for nine hours, that he was the REAL person who invented post-its, that he hunted vampires in the 1990s, vampires on the moon!



Guilty...and pretty.



Now, tell us what your guilty pleasures are...